CAMPING TIPS
Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.
Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will
keep the campsites on either side vacant.
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping:hine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear,
do not go into the woods alone.
The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for
generations. The
sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
So tell your dad to remember his cap.
Get even with the bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite
stump apart and eating all the ants.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot
enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sometimes gets stuck between your
toes.
While the Swiss Army knife has been popular for years, one practical use of the Swiss Navy
Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a
tiny canoe paddle.
You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north
side of your compass.
You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a
plastic garbage bag with several geese.
The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be
confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan
veterinarians.
A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting
small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your
underwear.
The guitar of a loud, tone-deaf scout at the next campsite will make
excellent
kindling should the need arise.
Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country.
The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
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SURVIVAL
A Scoutmaster was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in
the Alaskan wilderness."What are the three most important things you should
bring with you in case you get lost alone in the woods?" he asked. Timmy
replied, "A compass, food, and a deck of cards.""Why's that, Timmy?" the
Scoutmaster inquired. "The compass is to find the right direction, and the
food is to maintain you during the rescue.""And what about the playing
cards, Timmy?" asked the Scoutmaster impatiently. "Well, sir, as soon as you
start playing solitaire, someone always walks up behind you and says, "Put
that red nine on top of that black ten!"
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More Humor :
http://www.usscouts.org/macscouter/trulyscouting/ScoutHumor.html
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