Directory Of Humor

Sports JOKES 

Three Canadians and three Americans are traveling by train to a hockey game. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket. "How are you three guys going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one American. "Watch and you'll see" answers one of the Canadians. They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says " Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the Canadian's trick on the return trip and save some money  When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Canadians don't buy any tickets at all! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed American. "Watch and you'll see" answers a Canadian. When they board the train the three Americans cram into one bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby. Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves their bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door, and says "Tickets, please!"

______________________________________________

 

GOLF, n.

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by

disappointment and bad arithmetic.

[2] a game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you,

and the fastest are behind.

[3] a colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and

financially in the red.

[4] a game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws)

because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral

effort.

[5] a game a lot like taxation - you drive hard to get to the green, and

then you find yourself in a hole.

GOLF CART, n.

[1] A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can

neither count, criticize, nor snicker.

GOLFER, n.

[1] a person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five;

[2] a guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to

bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.

____________________________
FISHING 
My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.
The question of fishing is not a matter of life or death... it's more important than that.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish