Directory Of Humor

RIDDLES JOKES 

Is there a Fourth of July in England?
      Yes, it comes after the third of July!

      How many birthdays does the average man have?
      1 Just one!

      Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
      12, all of them!

      How many outs are there in an inning?
      6, three per side!

      Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
      No - because he is dead!

      Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
     70, (30  divided by 1/2 equals 60! Takes some thinking.....

      If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
      2, you took them, remember?

      A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour.
      How many minutes would the pills last?
      60  -    Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take  the 2nd, then 30 minutes for the 3rd.

      A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are  left?
      9

      How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
     0. Moses didn't have an ark, Noah did!

      How many two cent stamps are there ina dozen? 12. There are 12
      2 cent stamps in a dozen!