THE LUNCH BOX
An Irish woman, a Mexican woman and a blonde were doing
construction
work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch
and the Irish woman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef
and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened her lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened her lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a
bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day the Irish woman opened her lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage and jumped to her death. The Mexican opened her lunch, saw a
burrito and jumped too. The blonde opened her lunch, saw the bologna
and jumped to her death as well.
At the funeral the Irish woman's husband was weeping. He said, "If I'd
known how really tired she was of corned beef and cabbage, I never
would have given it to her again!"
The Mexican's husband also wept and said, "I could have given her tacos
or enchiladas! I didn't realize she hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's husband. "Hey, don't look at
me," he said, "She made her own lunch."
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Desert
Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had to
go to the desert and take one thing.
The brunette took a water bottle, the redhead took an umbrella and the blonde took a
car-door. When someone asked the Brunette, "why have you got a water bottle?"
The Brunette replied," If it gets too hot, I'll have water to drink !!
They asked the redhead,"why do you have an umbrella?" She said,"Because if
it gets hot I can have some shade." Then they asked the blonde," Why do you have
a car-door?" She replied," If it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the
window!"
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Pain
A young blond woman went to her
Doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you
hurting?" asked the Doctor."You have to
help me, I hurt all over" said the woman. "What do you mean all
over? Can you be a little more specific?" asked the
Doctor. The woman touched her knee with her index
finger and yelled "Ow, that hurts!"
Then she touched her left cheek and yelled again "Ouch, that hurts
too!" Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even that
hurts," she cried. The doctor looked at her
thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "are you naturally blond?"
"Why, Yes" she said. "I thought so" said the Doctor.
"You have a broken finger."
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The Snowstorm
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was
almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it
warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught
in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better
and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to
follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard
conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow
stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she
had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a
blizzard. The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she
wanted but he was done with the WalMart parking lot and was going over to
K-Mart next.
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"The Blonde And The Puzzle"
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help
me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."The blonde's friend figures that he's
pretty good at puzzles, so he headsover to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him
to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for
a moment, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able
to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger." "Second, I'd advise you to relax, have
a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT....
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here,"
she put Sagittarius.
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.
It took her months to figure out she could use her AM radio at night.
She was staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "concentrate"
She thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
She told me to meet her at the corner of WALK & DON'T WALK.
When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left", she turned around & went home.
She studied for a blood test and failed.
She sold her car so she would have gas money.
She looked into a box of Cheerio's and said, "OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!"
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WHAT & WHY......
What's the definition of "eternity?" 4 blondes at a 4-way
stop
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This goes in
front."
